We live our lives with the influence of the idea that the more we fill our lives with more and more things, the more satisfaction we gain accordingly. This is why we are in such a rush to dance more, to laugh more, to travel more, to have more fun and otherwise.
We pass the time pretending we are having so much fun and we are so happy. However, the satisfaction with life is gained through neither pretending to be happy nor filling our lives with more things to do. In fact, as how much you rely on this motivation, so the feeling of dissatisfaction with your life continues to grow. You gradually deplete yourself and so it seems that you let more things slip through your fingers.
Close your eyes and go back in time, you will realize that just a few of your memories are vivid. They are probably only about fifteen or twenty memories including stuck emotions and feelings. It doesn’t matter. The reason why only those moments remain in your mind is the high intensity of your emotions that you had experienced at that moment. You had such an experience that it was not possible to remain insensitive at that moment.
In this passage I would like to share a memory of mine with you as it has a similiar influence on me. An ordinary one. About twenty years ago, in the day time in an ordinary day, we were driving the car down the Portakal Slope in Arnavutköy with a friend of mine who had been one of my best friends at those times. After a while, we saw a group of neighborhood children surrounding a tiny rat on the pavement on the right side of the road. They were about to hit the rat with their sticks that they were holding. While we were watching what was happening, my friend slowed down the car and pulled over to the side of the road. All of a sudden, I jumped out of the car and looked at the children with my eyes unintentionally wide opened.
‘’What are you doing?!’’
I yelled. The children stepped back. Then some relatives of the children came into sight. Some of them were staring out of the window and some of them were watching me standing on the doorsills. I also looked at them. No sooner had the rat arrived at my feet then I was full of energy! I used to be a little bit wilder in those years. I would have saved the little rat even if all the neighborhood residents had stood against me.
‘’Are you not ashamed to torture this little creature all together?!’’ I yelled.
I heard my friend sitting in the car.
‘’F*ck’’ he muttered.
When I looked at him, I saw that he was dazedly watching me.
I threw a glance at the neighborhood residents again. I was feeling the movement of my breathing on my rib cage. I waited for a minute. Nobody said anything.
The rat moved away from my feet and kept jumping until he disappeared. We made eye contact with the youngest one of the children. He smiled. I winked at him and I smiled too. I got in the car.
My friend was a little bit scared and confused.
‘’You have soul of Saint.’’ he said. I liked what he said, he gave me an ego boost. He started to tell inspiredly what he had observed from an external perspective. I calmed down while I was listening to him.
My anger towards the scene that I witnessed was replaced with joy.
The reason why I would like to share this memory with you is not, for sure, telling you what a big soul of Saint I have! This experience has meaning beyond as it involves a determination whether it leaves or dies.
We all have such experiences throughout our lives. We act the way we do and never know why and how. This matter of life or death sends us such a strong signal that we inevitably reach our full potential. We use our full body and full energy at times like this. When we think about those specific moments of the past, we recall these memories as life records which are at the forefront of our minds.
We are used to be devoid of any sense whatsoever in usual flow of life. We are mostly lifeless without any serious stimulating factor. Do more and feel nothing! There should be an unexpected occurrence out of the ordinary so that we can keep ourselves stimulated and we can realize our true potential. People feel their body only in such circumstances besides in case of any physical injury. We feel a part of our body when we hurt it. We are disconnected from the sensations of our bodies if we are healthy or if there are no serious stimulating factors.
In fact, it is possible to touch any moment of life at any time. By this way you can be on the alert anytime and anywhere. I do not mean any serious matter saying ‘to be on the alert’. Seriousness makes people uptight. I mean being aware of the sensations that your body reveals at these moments and welcome the things with this awareness. Then you will be comfortable with whatever you do. You will have the potential to respond to conditions acutely thanks to the intelligence of the body. A laughter, tears, a sharp reply or keeping the silence. . . You will do what sould be done according to the situations that you are in. You will reach your full potential anytime.
When you are disconnected from your body, you are able to be aware of your body sense only if you are stimulated by a situation or have a physical illness or any injury. If your capacity to feel is low, there should be such an influential case that you can notice the sensations you feel in your body, in other saying, you can feel the life. A lack of body sense leads to the lack of feeling of life.
Rather when your capacity to notice the sensations of your body increases you are always connected with life. We do yoga to increase this capacity. By this way you lift the veil of mystery from your life. As you look back upon your life, it does not seem like everything has bursted like a bubble, but you feel that you have lived life to the fullest, except a few moments. And the sense of satisfaction comes your way naturally.
Finding satisfaction in life depends not on doing more things but living by feeling what you do.